12 years ago, it was a crisp, clear September morning in Alaska and my world changed. You were born. You were tiny, doll-like with very powerful lungs! For those first few days, everything was perfect.
We were blessed, at 9:44PM Alaska Time with our two pound 13 ounce baby girl. Only 15 3/4 inches long, you were our little angel.
Our perfect little family. We would enjoy the next three days, making plans for you to come home when you got bigger and telling your extended family all about you.
The moment we saw you, our hearts swelled with that absolute perfect love a parent has for their child.
Daddy’s Little Girl you will always be, and forever you will be Mamma’s Tiny Dancer.
You may have only had half of your heart, but you fought with all your being to stay with us. Your strength far surpasses that of so many adults. You taught me more than I can describe, my precious darling daughter.
We had to say goodbye to you too soon, Little Lady Katie. You may be far away from us, but you are always in our hearts.
Mamma and Daddy love and miss you so much, baby girl. We know you had to go, that it was just too much for your little body to handle, but to the very end you didn’t give up.
Your little brother, who is almost bigger than Mamma, wants to make you a birthday cake today. I think I will let him.
When you were born, that moment you came into the world, I couldn’t picture my life without you. Watching you fight, I knew I would have to face the worst fear of any parent. I think I have done ok, baby girl.
I miss you every day, and yet the world goes on. We must move forward.
We love you and we miss you, my sweet KatieBear.
Thank you to all who took part in Caitlin’s life.
Dr. Glen Elrod, the BEST OB a woman could ask for! (Congrats on the new practice and the new baby!) Thank you for taking the time to answer every question I had with both pregnancies.
Tammy Hatfield. A wonderful nurse practitioner who knew when she needed help. You took the fear out of my first pregnancy.
The entire L&D staff at Providence Medical Center in Anchorage
The NICU and PICU staff at Providence and Legacy Emanuel hospital in Portland, OR. You have a tough job and every nurse in all the units is an angel.
The life flight people.
The Tricare agents who processed the claims.
The staff and volunteers at the Ronald McDonald House. You guys are awesome!
Dr. Marc LeGras. Caitlin’s day to day cardiologist.
Last but definitely no where near least, Dr. Albert Starr. You saved Caitlin’s life and gave us more time with her. Your steady hands and brilliant mind are true gifts. You will always have a place in our hearts. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough.

Please, look both ways when you cross the streets of heaven while walking with your great grandmothers.

Caitlin Elizabeth
September 17, 2002, 9:44PM,
Providence Medical Center, Anchorage AK
2pounds 13ounces, 15 3/4 inches

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails…

Sometimes, Little J is too much, he is one of the most polite and kind young men I have ever been around. At times, I can’t believe he is ONLY going to be 9 this weekend.
This morning, when he got dressed, my washing machine was empty, his uniforms hanging up in the laundry room. When he got dressed, he opened the lid of the washer and threw his PJs, dirty boxers, and towel from his shower into the machine and told me “Mom, I pout the stuff in the washer to make your morning a little easier.” How cute, lol. Now, if only he will do that in the afternoon when he comes home with pasta sauce from lunch on the back of his pant leg (don’t ask, I have no idea how that one happened, lol).
I asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday, which is a Sunday this year. He wants to go to church (which we were planning to do anyway since we should have our car back by then) and he wants to go to the zoo with me after church. That is something we like to do together, and we are zoo members so we can go for free all year (Big J and Little J got me a zoo membership for my birthday) and it is on our way home from church. and a lazy Sunday stroll around the zoo is always fun. We have not been to the zoo since they opened the cheetah exhibit, so we will both enjoy that. He also requested spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.
Big J will be home the weekend after Little J’s birthday so we will do a family thing then. Big J wants to take him to Arkansas Post, which was the first settlement in Arkansas and the capital when we were still the Arkansas Territory, so we will do that when Big J is home and we will take him to the Chinese buffet for dinner.
The day before his birthday, I will do cake and ice cream here when his grandparents come over. He hasn’t decided on the kind of cake yet, but I am sure he will soon enough, lol.
I can’t believe my little man is going to be 9! Where oh where does the time go?