Author: midnightsun327

Glazes

These are the glazes and toppings I use for the donuts from my last post.

Krispy Kreme Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
1 TBLS boiling water
1 tsp vanilla

Combine in a shallow, wide bowl until smooth. Dip fried donuts and holes in the glaze while warm. To glaze holes, put all the holes in a large tupperware container with half the glaze. Firmly put the cover on the container and shake.

Cinnamon Sugar Topping
2 cups granulated sugar
2 TBLS cinnamon

Mix thoroughly. Dip warm donuts in the mixture. Coat holes in the same way as with the glaze

Toasted Coconut Topping
1 cup coconut flakes

Toast coconut flakes in a small skillet with no oil until just fragrant and they start to turn golden brown. Coat only 1 side of donuts with the toasted coconut flakes. Combines well with the Nutella glaze.

Nutella Glaze
1 Cup Nutella Spread
1 tsp coconut oil

Melt in microwave for 30 second intervals until smooth. Dip one side of donuts in the glaze. Can add rainbow sprinkles or coconut flakes while glaze is still wet.

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Time to make the donuts!

I officially have a new obsession! For the last few months, I have been making my own donuts for my family and they are amazing! None of us will really eat store bought donuts anymore now! Lol. These are the two recipes I tend to stick with. I will post a separate entry for the glazes I use.

Quick Donuts:
2 Packets Fast Rising Yeast
1 Cup lukewarm water
3 TBLS sugar
1 egg, well beaten
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/3 Cup melted butter
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt
3-4 cups AP Flour
oil for cooking (I use veggie oil, about an inch in my big pot I use to cook pasta)

In the bowl of your mixer with the dough hook attached, add yeast, water and sugar. Allow mixture to sit until bubbles form on top of mixture (about 8 minutes depending on the temperature and humidity of your kitchen).
Add the rest of ingredients and mix with dough hook, knead dough for 1 minute. (Add flour about 1/8cup at a time until dough is no longer sticky, amount needed depends on the humidity of your kitchen, I usually use about 4 cups).
On a floured surface, kneed by hand for an additional minute. Roll out to about 1/4″ thick and cut out donuts. You can use almost anything to cut them out, use either a large biscuit cutter for the outer circle and a smaller one for the hole, or a large glass for outer circle and a shot glass for the hole, anything really. Rekneed the scraps together to cut out more donuts, but no more than three times or the dough becomes too tough and does not rise properly.  This recipe will yield about 20 donuts and 26 donut holes (the 6 additional ones will come from the last of the scrap dough).
Place donuts and holes on a lightly floured surface and cover with a slightly damp kitchen towel (with the space this many donuts takes up, you will be tempted to use a single bath towel, do not, it will be too heavy for the donuts to rise properly). Allow to rise for 30-45 minutes. (I usually wait the half hour then set up the oil pot and begin to make the glazes for the last 15 minutes).
Place the donuts in the oil, no more than three at a time. Fry for 1-2 minutes per side then flip. The donuts will be golden brown. Transfer to a large plate covered in paper towels or napkins to drain. Drop in glaze while still warm.
The holes will only take about 30 seconds each.
Any left overs can be frozen before they are glazed for another time. Freeze for up to 6 months, although they never last that long around here.

Bread Machine Donuts:
1/2 cup milk (80*F)
1/4 cup water (room temp)
1/4 cup veggie oil
1 egg, room temp, lightly beaten
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup sugar
3 cups bread flour
1 packet active dry yeast

Add all ingredients to the bowl of your bread maker. Use the dough setting and turn it on. Check after about five minutes, if dough is too sticky, add flour 3 TBLS at a time until it is not sticky. Allow bread machine to do its thing. Rise should take about an hour to an hour and 20 minutes depending on your machine.
When dough cycle is over, turn risen dough out onto a floured surface and roll out to 1/4″ thick. Cut donuts as before, this should yield 2 dozen depending on size.
Place cut dough on a floured surface and cover with a very slightly damp kitchen towel. Allow to rise until dough does not bounce back when pressed slightly, about 45 minutes.
Fry as before.

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Suddenly

We all grow up with people saying, either to you or about someone else, “Oh, when she gets older and her metabolism slows down, she will balloon up,” or “Just wait until you are older and your body changes.” When you hear these phrases, though, most young people think it will be a slow change. Something you don’t really notice because it happens over time.
Ha! Let me tell you, some of these changes seem to happen overnight. You go to bed one night, and the next day, its like POOF! The change happens.
Lets get personal here for a minute. Any guys reading this might want to close the window now, since we are talking periods.
For the last year and a half, I would bleed for 3 to 3 1/2 weeks, and I’m not talking a light spotting either, but a heavy bleeding. Then, four months ago, I started. So I went to the store and purchased the four boxes of sanitary products I usually use for a period. Three days pass with my normal heavy bleeding. The fourth day after work I go to change the cup, since they can be worn for 12 hours without leakage, so it lasts all day during work. It is empty!
I think, ok, this happens occasionally, I will go a day without bleeding during the 3 weeks, nothing abnormal for me about that. The next day, still no blood. A week goes by and it is starting to sink it. Did I really just have the shortest period of my life?
It has been this way for the last four months! I gotta say, this is one change I am ok with!

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Jealousy

In general, I consider myself to not be a very jealous person. But, in this case, I just can’t help myself, and I think the issue is starting to effect my mental health.
Social media can be a wonderful thing at times, but at other times, it can be a disaster. I have been staying away from a friend’s facebook page because I feel myself slipping into depression and it is nothing against this friend, its not her fault, just as the issue is not my fault. I am working on letting go of the guilt and sadness the issue has caused. It’s a slow process, and I have to take it day-by-day.
What am I jealous of, you ask? I see all these beautiful families with multiple children and it pains me. I also see a mother who is celebrating the “last firsts” as she goes through the milestones of her last child’s first year.
I never got to celebrate and cherish those moments of knowing those were the last firsts. With Mini, I cherished the moments as the first firsts. The last-firsts are bittersweet for a mother, and celebrating them is a milestone for a mother, in many ways.
Mini’s firsts were bittersweet for us for other reasons, but we did not get to celebrate the “last firsts” with him because we planned on more children. My body, on the other hand, did not agree. Well meaning people continue to mention that we should be happy and thankful we have Mini and that he is our miracle child. Yes, he is, and we are very thankful for him and that he was born healthy, despite the complications that led to his birth, but those thoughts do nothing to help, they, in fact, make the mental state of a mother worse. We know how blessed we are to have been able to have Mini, we do not need constant reminders from well meaning people.
Those reminders are just reminders of what we do not have, the children we spent countless nights wishing for, planning for. Cowboy’s little Irish Princess, Mamma’s tiny dancer. The countless negative pregnancy tests, the tears and fears.
The sentiments are reminders of the heartbreak of yet another miscarriage. Most of all, the well meaning expressions of semi-sympathy are reminders of our girls. Of the two children we buried. The loss no mother should ever have to face.
People often ask how I can go on. They ask if one ever gets over the pain of that loss. To answer, I think Rose Kennedy said it best, “It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens but it is never gone.”
Back to the original point of this post, though. How does one get over the jealousy and celebrate another’s “last firsts” as a friend? How does one get over the feeling of being robbed of their life’s dream? How does one sit back and be happy for peers who are just starting to build their families, or who are expanding their families, when one dies a little inside with every pregnancy announcement? How does one get back those bittersweet missed moments? Is it polite to tell the well-meaning friends that their sentiments reminding us of the blessing Mini is, or to be thankful for the child who survived do not help? That those thoughts imply that we are not thankful and do not realize how blessed we are to have Mini? Will I ever be able to look at or hold an infant and not see my daughters and feel that heartache?
“You know, when I would see that stuff on the news, I would shut it off because it was just too horrible to think, but I would always think, ‘how do they wake up every day?’ I mean, how do they…how do they breathe, honey? But you do wake up. And for just a second, you forget. And then, oh, you remember. And it’s like getting that call again and again, every time. You don’t get to stop waking up. You have to keep on being a parent even though you don’t have a child anymore.” ~Carol, Glee Season 5, Episode 3, “The Quarterback”

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Weakness

I had a moment of weakness yesterday. During a break at work, I emailed myself an entry to post when I got home. My paranoia was in high gear and I was feeling down on myself.
Stuff at work was stressful and I was not feeling good about the situation and the way things looked. I felt like i was being passed over, again, looking at things through the eyes of a paranoid person. I don’t know why I have this paranoia, but I do. Years of being bullied maybe, who knows.
So the situation wasn’t a good one and I was just feeling down. I worked out the situation in my mind and realized that what I interpreted as something was not what i assumed.
Perhaps I will post the entry I emailed myself, as a reminder of how I can interpret things one way when they are really another.

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Thankful

If I were so inclined, I would say, in this moment, I am blessed. As I sit here, in my own home, surrounded by the things that are important to me, listening to our pets play, I am thankful.
We don’t have much “stuff” but, what we have we have earned ourselves. The things we have collected over the years are not expensive, they are not fancy, and others my age would probably laugh or think less of us because of the things we choose to surround ourselves with. But, to us and our family, they are the little things that make life good.
We don’t have framed artwork on the walls or breakable collectibles. We do have things that are more our style, though. A stuffy collection, POP figures, lanyards and sports teams. College football things and video games.
We have our pets. The cacophony of birds, the cat’s bell ball toy, and the dog’s squeeky pheasant. Those sounds combined with 8-bit video game sounds and music are the music of our lives. And, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am truly thankful.

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The House

We are finally getting the house fully set up the way we want it.
The living room still has a hand me down couch, but it is comfortable and a place to sit, and I am using an old quilt as a cover, so it looks homey, which I love. We ordered a TV center that we need to put together to get the TV, game systems, and cable box all organized. Once we do that, the living room will be set up fully.
The master bedroom is done. We invested in a brand new bed, the first one we have ever had together. It was past due and I have slept so well since we got it all set up. The room is a tranquil oasis for us decorated in our personal spartan style.
The kitchen, the heart of the home, is the way we want it. Lots of open space to move around and cook.
Mini still has to decide how he wants his room decorated as he transitions from little boy into teenager. But that will come in due time.
And the spare bedroom has been taken over by craft stuff. So it is now my sewing room. I love having a space to go where I can turn on my music and start sewing whenever I want.
The house isn’t as large as my sisters all have and it isn’t fancy, but it is ours, and we absolutely love it. Plus we have over an acre of land, which is important to us.

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Biggest Challenge

The biggest challenge for me is drinking water. I hate it. I can only drink water if it is ice cold. Adding additional flavor doesn’t help, it just tastes like watered down flavor. I need to get into the habit of filling the bottle half way and freezing it before going to bed.
Since water is the only thing allowed in the back room at work, I am not tempted to drink soda at work, instead, I just don’t drink anything, which is dangerous, too, going without a drink for 11 hours a day.
So, I need to get a good water bottle, freeze it half full before going to bed, then fill it the rest of the way before work.
Maybe that is something I need to use the reminders on my phone to help me remember to do, lol.

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Winter Bug

Every year at this time, some sort of winter bug goes around. I got hit hard this year. There are some things I wish people realize when they come into work with a contagious bug like this one. Besides infecting customers (and on Wednesday that can be especially bad since Wednesday is Senior Discount day at work). But infecting coworkers is not good either.
When it comes to me getting sick, I wish there were a few things people understand. I am not running from you because I don’t like you, I am not avoiding you because I am a snob, I am not sitting by myself because I am a diva. I am doing it for self preservation.
Here are a few things to remember when I act this way.
I have a heart condition. This heart condition manifests itself in blood pressure issues. When I get sick, even with a cold, my blood pressure spikes. This causes my heart to work harder, causing the deformed valve to leak.
Because of my blood pressure, I can not take 99% of over the counter medications. You can just take DayQuil and be on your way. I can not. DayQuil and other OTC medications cause high blood pressure to go even higher for an extended period of time. This is not good, for above stated reasons. The OTC stuff I can take costs double what the stuff you can take costs and takes twice as long to get rid of the “ick” because it’s not as strong.
I, personally, am susceptible to pneumonia. I have had it 4 of the last 7 years, one year tot he point where I was 12 hours from drowning to death in my own lungs. One more bout with pneumonia and the doctors will no longer be able to put off valve replacement surgery, which is open heart surgery. So I would be out of work as long as it takes to fight the pneumonia plus the length of time needed for the open heart surgery and recovery.
My husband has an auto-immune disorder, so his immune system is compromised. So, if I bring home a bug, chances are, he will get it, too, causing him to miss work as well.
Because of all these factors, yes, I will call out of work when I am sick, and, yes, I will go to the doctor. If a bug settles in my chest, I am especially careful and watchful that it does not stay there long enough to turn into pneumonia. I will blow my nose 70billion times a day, I will cough out whatever gunk is in my lungs, I will do the responsible thing and avoid people as much as possible while sick or while you are sick. It’s not being stuck up or a diva. It’s not being anti-social. It IS self preservation. It IS looking out for myself and my family. It IS in my best interest. If your feelings are hurt because I avoided you, I am not sorry. I need to look out for myself and my health and need to put me first, something I am getting better at doing.

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Weight Loss

Everyone says when you are on a weight loss journey you should not obsess about what the scale says. To a point this is true, but, I must say, I am very proud of what the scale says.
When I started my “get healthy weight loss” journey in November 2015, I was 210 pounds, on two different blood pressure medications, a size 22 pants, and on my way to being insulin dependent diabetic.
Now, 16 months later, I am down 50 pounds! When I went to the doctor for a very bad cold, I am now 161 pounds, on only the very small blood pressure medication, a size 14 pants, and no blood sugar issues at all!
My goal when I started was to be off the blood pressure medication completely. That, I have learned, will never happen. The blood pressure medication is needed because of the heart condition. Taking it allows my heart to not work as hard, which relieves stress on the deformed valve. So I am counting being on only the small dose pill as a victory.
My journey is far from over. I achieved my first few short term goals of getting off the high dose medication, getting my blood sugar under control, and getting out of size 20+ pants.
Now, it is time to set my next short term goals and figure out how to achieve them. These goals need to be realistic and I need an action plan to meet them.
So, my new goals. I would love to be in a size 10 in six months time.
I also would like to work on my physical endurance. I know it is not realistic to get back to where I was in basic training as far as endurance. I have never been a long distance runner. So, for now, I an setting a goal where, in six months, I will be able to jog a mile without needing to stop because I am winded. I can achieve this by walking and gradually increasing the speed over time. Since this is a cardio activity, I will need to be mindful of my heart and how hard it is working, but this will help strengthen my heart, which will in turn help the deformed valve not work as hard.
My last short term goal is to tone my stomach up a bit and  tone my legs back to where they were when I joined the military. My legs were my best physical feature, strengthened and toned from hours on the soccer field calling games. I would love to have the muscle tone in them return.
So, here’s to getting further along in my physical fitness journey!

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